Awesomely Bad (and Funny) Student Responses to Test Questions
posted by Mark on July 2nd, 2009Let this be a lesson on how NOT to pass a class…
The loophole:
Mr. Literal:
The poet:
It was all going so well: the Will Smith edition:
The art of padding:
Nobody wins with terrorism:
Things you didn’t know about George Clooney:
History lesson:
Drama king:
No respect for the dead:
Mr. Literal, part 2:
Anti-semitism will get you nowhere:
Three steps:
A surprisingly enlightened analysis of “2 Girls 1 Cup”:
Classic:
How to score a zero on a true-false quiz:
Jesus: Civil War hero
The future:
Thinking outside the box:
If all else fails, draw a cute animal:
At least he got a 100:
Oedipus, by Dr. Dre:
Internet Slang 101:
Homework is like pregnancy:
Mark Twain was evil (and he wrote Lord of the Flies):
In her defense, he IS kinda ugly:
The king of awesomely bad essays, Peter Nguyen:
Related content:
July 3rd, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I’m not sure which are funnier, the papers or the teachers’ responses to them.
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:15 pm
[…] I Wish I’d Had the Balls to Write Theseaceonlineschools.com […]
July 3rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
xD
Dear lord. I just about died when the one guy Bel-Air’d his teacher.
July 3rd, 2009 at 6:45 pm
I especially liked Jimmy McPherson’s epic battle…
July 4th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
OMG the last 4 were hilarious!
July 5th, 2009 at 3:37 am
I shat a tear of laughter.
July 5th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
funniest thing i’ve read this year
July 7th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Roflmao I…can’t…stop…laughing. We need to find Peter Nguyen and give him a medal. How did he get into honors english if he always wrote essays like these?
I’m dying from laughter. I think I poo’d a little.
July 7th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Peter Nguyen is my hero.
July 8th, 2009 at 4:12 am
pinto was eaten by the monkey men! derr….
July 8th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
LOL funniest sh-t ive read all week
July 9th, 2009 at 4:58 am
I think I’m in love with Peter :)
July 9th, 2009 at 8:39 am
I’m in love with Peter.
July 9th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Pinto, we hardly knew ye. :'(
July 11th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
I might start watching SNL again if they got Peter Nguyen to write for it.
July 11th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
The teacher has shown how much of a noob he really is in Internet Slang 101.
1. S/he doesn’t know what a “noob” is.
2. “Hopefull (sic.)”, anyone?
July 11th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
LMAO
omg I love this, reminds me of what I do when I don’t know the answer to stuff on tests. XD
LOL, and YES we HAVE TO TRACK DOWN PETER NGUYEN! That dude deserves a medal!
July 12th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I know Peter…
July 13th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Peter Nguyen was born to gods; his father the famous purple cock monster king of planet /b/, his mother the transcendent platonic form of mom, the one all the jokes spawned from. He grew up in a suburban neighborhood with 1.23 other siblings, a mini-van his mom drove him to soccer practice in, and a complete set of Linkin Park albums he oh so independently listened to in his bedroom. In his artistic ventures he gained most of his inspiration from electropop, Milton, and furry porn (of which he watches on his laggy browser at 2:00 in the morning, jerking off while his parents sleep in the room just down the hall). Details are sketchy upon other things due to the fact that this epic hero, a god among men, is the subject of much urban legend and romantic fantasies. This is a complete description of my dealings with Mr. Nguyen.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:39 am
Holy crap, the Pro: Noob antonym almost made me piss myself.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Son a bitch, I drew that lion! The teacher’s lion was drawn by one Ms. Long, a 9th grade Biology teacher at LNHS
July 16th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
this is some funny stuff, hopefully it will inspire my future essays =)
July 17th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
In Peru they have names for many things. One of those things is poeple who write awesome essays. If we had a name for this it would be Peter Nguyen. But we don’t.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, JUDY!
July 18th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
God damn I was one of these kids. My greatest piece was called ‘The Vegan Report’, and I wish there was a copy still around - all I remember is something about how vegans are wrong and not one cow in recorded history has complained about being killed and eaten.
July 18th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
haha the jesus one is probably the best one
i think i pissed my self a bit while reading it
July 20th, 2009 at 1:34 am
Find X.
(X) <— right here!
Beautiful.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:15 am
That paper on 2girls1cup deserved at least a B. The writer has clearly applied an understanding of symbolic interactionism to their analysis of the video.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 am
I almost pissed myself.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
wow, peter is pretty damn creative. also, hilarious. i think we would have been friends in high school.
also “i don’t really pay attention in your class and i’m pretty high right now” … i would assume so.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:32 am
Awesomeness!!!!! Go Peter!!! Do you know, if you yell the name Nguyen in Vietnam, half of the country will say “Yes?” :D
July 25th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
ha ha ha! I like the panda part!!!
July 26th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
My goodness! Who is Peter Nguyen?! He should seriously consider comedy writing! Pure gold his essays were!
July 29th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Oh my god I loved that!
Frickin’ Peter. He should have gone into comedy. But he probably couldn’t because he probably got all F’s. That ro his teachers had enough and killed him…
Also I loved the one with the kid who was high.
And the ‘Find the x’ one.
All of these = Laughing my ass off.
July 30th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
lmaooooooooo omg Peter is the sh*t!
i couldn’t stop laughing!
i wonder where he is now,
should be doing more of these for ComedyCentral !
August 25th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
The kid should be thankful he had the professors that he did.
September 11th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
the papers are hilarious, and while they are not on topic, and don’t prove anything, they are well written and understandable, and that makes me feel better about the world.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Forgot one!
https://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/0/collegehumor.f3697b38e942ae09896369709fa71f74.jpg
October 8th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
There are pictures of the “Find X” problem in every single math classroom at my school. I’m not even kidding lmao
October 18th, 2009 at 7:59 am
this post was amazing. thank you so much.
October 24th, 2009 at 2:04 am
F*CKING WIN
October 25th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
pure gold
Peter Nguyen needs a medal indeed
October 27th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
As a high school teacher, I had some funny papers too. These papers are hilarious, and teacher’s comments often trumped the students work. :)
October 31st, 2009 at 10:41 am
LOLOLOL OMFG.
PETER NGUYEN PWNS.
I love the essay where Jimmy fought Hitler and President Maximoto >w<~
November 12th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
lol! Peter Nguyen was such a funny man. He really made me laugh that I shed a tear of laughter.
November 16th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Lol. that has to have been some of the funniest stuff i’ve read in ages.
Peter Nguyen you are an epic legd.
(: omg. just lol. ;’)
wish i knew who he was ;o
melissa james :)
November 29th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Dear God, that was hilarious. I’m dying of laughter right now. I wonder if any of these kids succeeded in life or if they’re all hobos.
December 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
This is why I quit teaching
December 6th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Peter (Huu) Nguyen originally posted these essays to the forum of an old webcomic, though at the time he was better known for his fanart.
he was able to get away with those essays because his parents didn’t speak english and, well, he was the only one who could translate for his teachers.
these days he does freelance graphic design.
December 8th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
how is Peter in honors english??
December 9th, 2009 at 2:52 am
Hilarious. I’d seen a number of these before, but they’re still pretty awesome. How I longed to write a few essays like that in high school…
Also, there should be a disclaimer that you shouldn’t attempt to drink anything while reading these, I nearly spewed soda all over my keyboard laughing.
December 21st, 2009 at 2:17 pm
LMFAOOOO, the panda was the funniest thing ever.
and freaking the Jesus story.
wow, i love peter.
January 6th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
OMG! I’ve been a teacher for 2 years now. I hope I encounter stuff like this is my career! I haven’t laughed this hard in awhile! These kids are creative geniuses, hah!
January 10th, 2010 at 8:11 pm
BWAHAHAHAHAAAA! That’s hilarious!
January 14th, 2010 at 7:27 am
hahahaha, peter is the greatest! the hitler part was golden. oh man, LMAO
January 19th, 2010 at 8:48 am
Oh sure, when it’s on the Internet it’s hilarious. But when I come home and show far worse things to my mom, she gets mad and calls me a twit.
February 16th, 2010 at 7:42 am
lOL!!!!! Can’t stop laughing!!!!! Hilarious!!!1 I hope someone sends George Clooney his biography! lol!
February 21st, 2010 at 5:54 pm
haha!!!!! this is HILARIOUS, if i was a teacher and had Peter as a student I would give him an A just for being awesome! he should get a trophy he’s my freakin idol!!
February 22nd, 2010 at 9:09 pm
OMG I ALMOST DIED! I LOVE PETER!
March 1st, 2010 at 10:17 pm
dude… this is why i want to teach. :)
March 16th, 2010 at 8:44 pm
I’m actually crying from all the laughter!
May 26th, 2010 at 3:44 am
My only question is “Who is Peter Nguyen?” . Did he ever passed the class?
May 26th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
funny shit…funny shit
luved the us captilism and independece by peter.
May 27th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
LOL I loved the panda. :) Peter Nguyen is AWESOME! I <3 his essays!
May 27th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
peter was fukin funny
June 5th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
Peter Nguyen is probably the funniest person on the planet.
Maybe I should become a teacher simply in hopes of getting kids like these.
Oh, I haven’t laughed so hard in ages.
July 7th, 2010 at 7:44 am
Peter Who (Huu) When (Nguyen),
Please see me!
September 4th, 2010 at 7:32 am
Nice…
Thanks, I always love a good read. Dont stop posting!…
September 19th, 2010 at 8:39 am
WOW PETER HIARIOUS!
Laughing my ass off!!!!
September 21st, 2010 at 6:59 pm
im def searching up peter nguyon on facebook
October 2nd, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Lol, Peter’s teacher was wrong. There’s a Harlem in Chicago, so there.
October 11th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
peter nguyen…please add me on facebook! lmao!
October 23rd, 2010 at 2:41 am
Some of them are creative and funny, I enjoyed the laughing but other just show how fucked up the American school system is, and that that nothing can replace a good ass whooping from time to time for such spoiled brats get in line and learn to RESPECT, teachers and other people, because is just obvious that everythings is a fucking joke for them. And some of the teachers celebrating them instead of correcting them, I’m glad to see that some teachers deserve to be called that.
And the Peter guy is a racist prick dumb ass IMO with the occasional good joke, the rest a lot of tosh.
November 27th, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Haha best essays ever. Peter, we had some good times.
November 27th, 2010 at 11:01 pm
You, Mr. Peter Nguyen, are my hero.
Wait- how did he get into honors english, let alone college?!
November 30th, 2010 at 2:50 am
peter n all u guys add me on facebook boyatvikram@gmail.com
November 30th, 2010 at 2:52 am
i fall like 10 times from my couch with my laptop. lucky me n ma lappy…
December 10th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
peters were overall awesome but I LOVED THE CIVIL WAR ONE IT PROBABLY MADE MY YEAR and the one with dr dre’s picture was halarious
December 16th, 2010 at 8:21 pm
Not sure if all of these are real but they are absolutely hysterical. I love how peter includes tupac so much. And of course, the elephant one is awesome.
January 3rd, 2011 at 7:40 am
Peter, I love you
January 31st, 2011 at 1:12 pm
I love Peter. Who is this guy? I seriously want to find him just to tip my hat to him for his comical genius mind! GOLD! that is right there. Pure gold, I think that boy can make a living doing that!
February 22nd, 2011 at 8:29 pm
This was brilliant, I want more! There should be an academic database for this stuff. I’m sure teachers and lecturers would have plenty to put up. I know the essay I am currently writing that is due in tomorrow is gonna make my lecturer laugh cos its so bad :( Thanks for this it let me procrastinate for just a while longer! Lisa
February 22nd, 2011 at 9:03 pm
so um i just laughed my face off……
Im def. doing this for my term paper
(and of course turn in my real term paper as extra lol)
February 28th, 2011 at 8:20 am
I want to know why the kid failed his analysis of 2 Girls, 1 cup. the subject matter is disgusting, but the analytics and criticism are brilliant.
March 31st, 2011 at 9:29 pm
SCREW U U BUNCH OF JUNKIES. YOUR PROB OVA THERE SUCKIN EACHOTHA UP TLKIN BOUT NIGGAS STILLIN BIKES. wtf I STEAL SCOOTERS TOO SO FUCK OFF HICKS
April 2nd, 2011 at 9:16 pm
I would have given Peter A’s each time, because those were absolute genius!
April 8th, 2011 at 12:44 am
Dude…calm down. Nobody needs “a good ass whooping.”
April 15th, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Cricut rolling tote…
[…] Check out the following sites… […]…
April 25th, 2011 at 7:17 am
Really cool. After reading topic “The art of padding” i am not stop my laughing. Really amazing thanks for sharing.
April 29th, 2011 at 11:11 pm
Peter…You’r my IDol
fuck yeah!!
May 3rd, 2011 at 4:29 am
LMAOO! hilarious!
May 5th, 2011 at 2:32 pm
peter your kick ass dude
May 6th, 2011 at 2:12 am
Peter….I love you….soooo much right now.
But how did he make it into honors english???
May 10th, 2011 at 4:39 am
I wanna know where Peter Nguyen is now, cus he should have a book out by now!
May 15th, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Oh Peter…. please friend me.
October 15th, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Midget Ninja is the funniest thing I have ever read!
October 26th, 2011 at 4:10 am
Peter Nguyen actually writes pretty well! Although the contents of his works are … less well.
October 28th, 2011 at 3:26 pm
FUNNY
October 28th, 2011 at 3:27 pm
haha yea
November 1st, 2011 at 10:38 pm
And Cried
November 25th, 2011 at 12:58 am
Ahahaha,,,,,, ITs art….hahaha
December 9th, 2011 at 12:12 am
and ’til :)
December 13th, 2011 at 1:10 am
See…i have a few teachers. where if i thought of something smart to write for an answer,. i would get away with it!!
December 13th, 2011 at 2:34 am
LOL
December 27th, 2011 at 10:31 pm
makes me want to go back to high school do it all over again
January 21st, 2012 at 6:24 pm
Man, Peter really has a talent for creative writing. And controversy…
February 12th, 2012 at 6:22 pm
Peters my hero!
February 27th, 2012 at 6:16 am
“Unlimited Essay Works”?
Lol. I should start sneaking anime references into my school work as well.
March 5th, 2012 at 11:29 am
Is well a good word?
April 9th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Cue Hilarity
April 11th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Peter is a moron. I love how one of the test questions is about my country(Bulgaria).
April 13th, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Peter = legend. Some of the funniest stuff i have ever read. Cant wait for the movie.
April 26th, 2012 at 5:54 pm
I like how people get offended by what these kids say. “Oh Im from that country, or oh Im Gay, or Oh my mom’s a whore with a wooden leg so that joke offends me”, go fuck yourselves
April 30th, 2012 at 6:26 pm
Peter is a genius! When I destroy the world using Datura Stratonium, Japanese Fugu toxins, and cyanide I’m so gonna spare him!… uh, forget the part I said about Datura Stratonium, Japanese Fugu toxins, and cyanide…. I was just kidding, haha, see I’m laughing! heh.
May 3rd, 2012 at 2:31 am
OMG! LMFAO I love Peter!!!
I laughed so hard I cried.
May 7th, 2012 at 5:28 am
ha ha ha peter is so funny!
July 6th, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Peter should write a book…I’ll totally read all of his books :D
July 9th, 2012 at 2:15 am
peter should write in the uncyclopedia
July 9th, 2012 at 2:17 am
kanzler?
July 10th, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Um, these students totally fail… r u crazy?
July 29th, 2012 at 11:02 pm
I went to junior high with Peter. Smart guy. So funny. Left me cracking up after reading this.
September 9th, 2012 at 2:05 am
“Okay, I don’t really pay attention in your class and I’m really high right now.”
I’ve had those days.
September 11th, 2012 at 10:33 am
Peter! I am your father…
September 23rd, 2012 at 12:20 pm
Dude don’t swear
October 17th, 2012 at 9:13 pm
OHH MY GOD. PETER IS A FRICKING GENIUS(:
October 22nd, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Lol This boy is :ugly
November 12th, 2012 at 7:42 pm
google peter it turns out he became a comic artist… i guess its appropriate…ish
December 10th, 2012 at 4:53 pm
I liked the king of awesomely bad essays the second paragraph. that was funny
December 10th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
totally
December 10th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Peter you are fucking awesome
January 22nd, 2013 at 4:04 pm
Hahahahahahahaha
February 3rd, 2013 at 8:21 am
Like if you actually read ALL of them
March 15th, 2013 at 8:30 am
these kids are ingenius, i would have atleast gave them a c- for having balls
March 15th, 2013 at 10:50 pm
Peter may be working on History Channel right now. His tales have more sense than those “historical aliens” shows have.
April 5th, 2013 at 9:23 am
its spelled your, moran!
May 18th, 2013 at 8:28 pm
I’m crying … too funny
June 9th, 2013 at 10:30 pm
I’m in college now with a 3.50 GPA, but in High School, I was much like them, only not as creative as they were. I think I would’ve had more fun in High School if I were as creative as Peter (minus the anti-Semitic, and name calling)
June 21st, 2013 at 2:59 pm
too bad it doesnt look like an actual teacher graded half of them
June 24th, 2013 at 5:49 pm
I love this
August 6th, 2013 at 6:29 pm
And you know the font in which a teacher is supposed to write?
January 9th, 2014 at 11:55 am
The person who did “The Future” is actually one of my best friends.
January 9th, 2014 at 4:49 pm
My favorite is the biography on Christopher Columbus.
April 1st, 2014 at 8:25 pm
Peter wrote that one to actually
April 26th, 2014 at 8:12 pm
Peter needs to work in Hollywood. Pure awesomeness.
July 11th, 2014 at 5:23 pm
This boy is ugly lol
July 20th, 2014 at 2:30 am
peter is a legendary history teacher lol