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MOOCs I’d Like To See

posted by Robin Green on October 30th, 2013

311gNTNy7oLRecently I told you all about MOOCs – Massive Open On-line Courses. They are classes taught, often by professors at major universities and colleges and streamed around the world on the internet. You can take business from Harvard or quantum physics from Caltech right from the comfortable seat in front of your computer.

They’re the on-line college of the future, today!

While I was asked by my colleagues to write a blog post on “what MOOCs would you like to see” I think I took it a little too literally. I instead came up with some MOOCs that I, Robin Green would like to see. Classes that are meaningful to me, and literally no one else.

Classes such as:

 

GEOLOGY 101 – “DRILLING FOR CAFFEINE”

mooc-caffeine1

This class would explore the possibility of drilling for the substance that gets me going in the morning and allows me to stay up late at night writing these blog posts. The class would cover such methods as, “frappucino fracking,” “deep earth Mountain Dew Drilling,” “Monster Energy Drink extracting” and other things that could deliver sweet sweet caffeine into my veins. The class would also include thoughts on new green (tea) technology like using windmills to get my sorry butt out of bed in the morning.

Offering University: Wichita State
Why? Because their sports teams are called “The Shockers.”

 

THE WAR BETWEEN COOKIE AND FLEA – THE EARLY YEARS

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This class would cover historical aspects of this “war” that has taken place between these two cats that live in my apartment complex that has taken place right below my window for the past five years. Famous battles that would be covered would include: “The Scratching by the Laundry Room,” “The Battle by the Front Gate Lawn,” and “Cattomattox: Flea Is Taken to the Cat Hospital.” The class would deal with possible reconstruction efforts like the idea of giving them both a toy they can play with. For extra credit students (ME) would view a Ken Burns-like mini-series about the war that would both be long and ADORABLE.

Offering University: University of Arizona
Why? Because their nickname is “The Wildcats.”

 

GEOMETRY OF THE GUY THAT PARKS TOO CLOSE TO ME

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This multi-disciplinary math class would use different forms of math to explain why and how the guy who has the parking space next to me always parks so close that I can’t even open my stinkin’ door. Topics covered would include: “The Geometry of How He Can Park So Darn Close,” “Quantum Physics: Aka: Does His Car Only Block Me in When I Observe It?” “Probability: Aka: Why does the probability of him blocking me in only increase when I have a hot date or an appointment I’m late for? ” These and many other questions would be answered.

Offering University: Park University (Missouri).
Why? Come on!

 

ANATOMY 24 – THE ANATOMY OF KOBE BRYANT’S KNEES AND TENDONS

The most important topic in anatomy: the anatomy of L.A. Laker star Kobe Bryant’s knee. From an anatomical point of view the class would explore aspects like: When will Kobe’s Achilles tendon be healed so my Lakers can win again? When Kobe goes to Europe to get his knees fixed, does he get springs put in there or something? And how old does carbon dating really say Kobe’s knees are. The class would also cover the anatomical aspects of what would happen to my knees if I bet too much on Kobe Bryant to a bookie and lost.

Offering University: Roosefvelt College
Why? Their teams are also called “The Lakers.”

 

FILM AND TV SHOWS AS LITERATURE: SPOILERS ONLY

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I’m so busy writing these hilarious blog posts that I don’t have time to watch the popular shows that everyone else does like Dexter and Breaking Bad. Heck, I’ve never even seen The Hobbit. So this class would give me an overview of the last 100 years of film and TV shows by only giving me the shocking twists at the end. Spoilers would include: It was all a dream and her uncle was the Tin Man. Rosebud is a sled. Norman Bates is dressing as his mother. To Serve Man is a cookbook. Walter White dies. And finally everyone at the wedding gets killed pretty much except for Brynden Tully.

Offering University: Loma Linda University
Why? Because as the pioneer of the baboon heart transplant, they’re used to only keeping the good parts.

Okay, that’s the MOOCs that I, Robin Green want to see. But there are plenty of real MOOCs that can help you find the subjects that will help you get the degree of your choice or provide the education that will make your career dreams come true.

Just type the word MOOC into a search engine, the subject you want to study and soon you’ll soon find a MOOC you’d like to see!

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