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Awesomely Bad (and Funny) Student Responses to Test Questions

posted by Mark on July 2nd, 2009

Let this be a lesson on how NOT to pass a class…

The loophole:

Loophole

Mr. Literal:

Mr. Literal


The poet:

The poet

It was all going so well: the Will Smith edition:

It was all going so well: the Will Smith edition


The art of padding:

The art of padding

Nobody wins with terrorism:

Terrorism

Things you didn’t know about George Clooney:

Things you didn't know about George Clooney

Things you didn't know about George Clooney

Things you didn't know about George Clooney

History lesson:

History lesson

Drama king:

Drama king

No respect for the dead:

No respect for the dead

Mr. Literal, part 2:

Mr. Literal part 2

Anti-semitism will get you nowhere:

Anti-Semitism will get you nowhere

Three steps:

Three steps

A surprisingly enlightened analysis of “2 Girls 1 Cup”:

A surprisingly enlightened analysis of Two Girls One Cup

A surprisingly enlightened analysis of Two Girls One Cup

Classic:

Classic

How to score a zero on a true-false quiz:

How to score zero on a true-false quiz

Jesus: Civil War hero

Jesus: Civil War hero

The future:

The Future

Thinking outside the box:

Thinking outside the box

If all else fails, draw a cute animal:

If all else fails, draw an animal

If all else fails, draw an animal

If all else fails, draw an animal

If all else fails, draw an animal

At least he got a 100:

At least he got a 100

Oedipus, by Dr. Dre:

Oedipus by Dr. Dre

Oedipus by Dr. Dre

Internet Slang 101:

Internet Slang 101

Homework is like pregnancy:

Homework is like pregnancy

Mark Twain was evil (and he wrote Lord of the Flies):

Mark Twain was evil and he wrote Lord of the Flies

In her defense, he IS kinda ugly:

In her defense, he is kinda ugly

The king of awesomely bad essays, Peter Nguyen:

The king of awesomely bad essays, Peter Nguyen

The king of awesomely bad essays, Peter Nguyen

The king of awesomely bad essays, Peter Nguyen

The king of awesomely bad essays, Peter Nguyen

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146 Responses to “Awesomely Bad (and Funny) Student Responses to Test Questions”

  1. Jim Longo Says:

    I’m not sure which are funnier, the papers or the teachers’ responses to them.

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  3. Accoch63 Says:

    xD

    Dear lord. I just about died when the one guy Bel-Air’d his teacher.

  4. Aeromax Says:

    I especially liked Jimmy McPherson’s epic battle…

  5. ROFL Says:

    OMG the last 4 were hilarious!

  6. sandman Says:

    I shat a tear of laughter.

  7. bcbird Says:

    funniest thing i’ve read this year

  8. Anonymouse Says:

    Roflmao I…can’t…stop…laughing. We need to find Peter Nguyen and give him a medal. How did he get into honors english if he always wrote essays like these?
    I’m dying from laughter. I think I poo’d a little.

  9. Darcie Says:

    Peter Nguyen is my hero.

  10. enqueion Says:

    pinto was eaten by the monkey men! derr….

  11. memememe Says:

    LOL funniest sh-t ive read all week

  12. Matilda Says:

    I think I’m in love with Peter :)

  13. Andreea Says:

    I’m in love with Peter.

  14. Plaid Ranger Says:

    Pinto, we hardly knew ye. :’(

  15. Dean Says:

    I might start watching SNL again if they got Peter Nguyen to write for it.

  16. Kenneth Says:

    The teacher has shown how much of a noob he really is in Internet Slang 101.

    1. S/he doesn’t know what a “noob” is.
    2. “Hopefull (sic.)”, anyone?

  17. Shaolinmonk69 Says:

    LMAO

    omg I love this, reminds me of what I do when I don’t know the answer to stuff on tests. XD

    LOL, and YES we HAVE TO TRACK DOWN PETER NGUYEN! That dude deserves a medal!

  18. The Jedi Master Says:

    I know Peter…

  19. Bryce H. Says:

    Peter Nguyen was born to gods; his father the famous purple cock monster king of planet /b/, his mother the transcendent platonic form of mom, the one all the jokes spawned from. He grew up in a suburban neighborhood with 1.23 other siblings, a mini-van his mom drove him to soccer practice in, and a complete set of Linkin Park albums he oh so independently listened to in his bedroom. In his artistic ventures he gained most of his inspiration from electropop, Milton, and furry porn (of which he watches on his laggy browser at 2:00 in the morning, jerking off while his parents sleep in the room just down the hall). Details are sketchy upon other things due to the fact that this epic hero, a god among men, is the subject of much urban legend and romantic fantasies. This is a complete description of my dealings with Mr. Nguyen.

  20. Wow Says:

    Holy crap, the Pro: Noob antonym almost made me piss myself.

  21. John Says:

    Son a bitch, I drew that lion! The teacher’s lion was drawn by one Ms. Long, a 9th grade Biology teacher at LNHS

  22. Paran Singh Says:

    this is some funny stuff, hopefully it will inspire my future essays =)

  23. JimB Says:

    In Peru they have names for many things. One of those things is poeple who write awesome essays. If we had a name for this it would be Peter Nguyen. But we don’t.

  24. James Styles Says:

    ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, JUDY!

  25. Tom Davenport Says:

    God damn I was one of these kids. My greatest piece was called ‘The Vegan Report’, and I wish there was a copy still around – all I remember is something about how vegans are wrong and not one cow in recorded history has complained about being killed and eaten.

  26. Tom Says:

    haha the jesus one is probably the best one
    i think i pissed my self a bit while reading it

  27. Jake Says:

    Find X.

    (X) <— right here!

    Beautiful.

  28. no diggity Says:

    That paper on 2girls1cup deserved at least a B. The writer has clearly applied an understanding of symbolic interactionism to their analysis of the video.

  29. hamster Says:

    I almost pissed myself.

  30. self. Says:

    wow, peter is pretty damn creative. also, hilarious. i think we would have been friends in high school.
    also “i don’t really pay attention in your class and i’m pretty high right now” … i would assume so.

  31. nevious Says:

    Awesomeness!!!!! Go Peter!!! Do you know, if you yell the name Nguyen in Vietnam, half of the country will say “Yes?” :D

  32. Gus Delfin Says:

    ha ha ha! I like the panda part!!!

  33. Alexis Says:

    My goodness! Who is Peter Nguyen?! He should seriously consider comedy writing! Pure gold his essays were!

  34. Kat Says:

    Oh my god I loved that!

    Frickin’ Peter. He should have gone into comedy. But he probably couldn’t because he probably got all F’s. That ro his teachers had enough and killed him…

    Also I loved the one with the kid who was high.

    And the ‘Find the x’ one.

    All of these = Laughing my ass off.

  35. elena Says:

    lmaooooooooo omg Peter is the sh*t!
    i couldn’t stop laughing!
    i wonder where he is now,
    should be doing more of these for ComedyCentral !

  36. Sharon Says:

    The kid should be thankful he had the professors that he did.

  37. paige Says:

    the papers are hilarious, and while they are not on topic, and don’t prove anything, they are well written and understandable, and that makes me feel better about the world.

  38. Dave Says:

    Forgot one!

    http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/0/collegehumor.f3697b38e942ae09896369709fa71f74.jpg

  39. KCole Says:

    There are pictures of the “Find X” problem in every single math classroom at my school. I’m not even kidding lmao

  40. msroy Says:

    this post was amazing. thank you so much.

  41. nate Says:

    F*CKING WIN

  42. minder42 Says:

    pure gold
    Peter Nguyen needs a medal indeed

  43. Sarah L Says:

    As a high school teacher, I had some funny papers too. These papers are hilarious, and teacher’s comments often trumped the students work. :)

  44. uns orly. Says:

    LOLOLOL OMFG.

    PETER NGUYEN PWNS.

    I love the essay where Jimmy fought Hitler and President Maximoto >w<~

  45. gracie Says:

    lol! Peter Nguyen was such a funny man. He really made me laugh that I shed a tear of laughter.

  46. meloo. Says:

    Lol. that has to have been some of the funniest stuff i’ve read in ages.

    Peter Nguyen you are an epic legd.
    (: omg. just lol. ;’)

    wish i knew who he was ;o

    melissa james :)

  47. Shannon Says:

    Dear God, that was hilarious. I’m dying of laughter right now. I wonder if any of these kids succeeded in life or if they’re all hobos.

  48. Andrea Says:

    This is why I quit teaching

  49. Alphonse Says:

    Peter (Huu) Nguyen originally posted these essays to the forum of an old webcomic, though at the time he was better known for his fanart.

    he was able to get away with those essays because his parents didn’t speak english and, well, he was the only one who could translate for his teachers.

    these days he does freelance graphic design.

  50. Sammy Says:

    how is Peter in honors english??

  51. Snark Says:

    Hilarious. I’d seen a number of these before, but they’re still pretty awesome. How I longed to write a few essays like that in high school…

    Also, there should be a disclaimer that you shouldn’t attempt to drink anything while reading these, I nearly spewed soda all over my keyboard laughing.

  52. Emily Says:

    LMFAOOOO, the panda was the funniest thing ever.
    and freaking the Jesus story.
    wow, i love peter.

  53. Jennifer Says:

    OMG! I’ve been a teacher for 2 years now. I hope I encounter stuff like this is my career! I haven’t laughed this hard in awhile! These kids are creative geniuses, hah!

  54. Sam Says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAAAA! That’s hilarious!

  55. uka Says:

    hahahaha, peter is the greatest! the hitler part was golden. oh man, LMAO

  56. Rick Says:

    Oh sure, when it’s on the Internet it’s hilarious. But when I come home and show far worse things to my mom, she gets mad and calls me a twit.

  57. Fatma Says:

    lOL!!!!! Can’t stop laughing!!!!! Hilarious!!!1 I hope someone sends George Clooney his biography! lol!

  58. Jessica Says:

    haha!!!!! this is HILARIOUS, if i was a teacher and had Peter as a student I would give him an A just for being awesome! he should get a trophy he’s my freakin idol!!

  59. Adeline Says:

    OMG I ALMOST DIED! I LOVE PETER!

  60. Kaitlyn Says:

    dude… this is why i want to teach. :)

  61. Goga Says:

    I’m actually crying from all the laughter!

  62. Katie Says:

    My only question is “Who is Peter Nguyen?” .. Did he ever passed the class?

  63. jacie Says:

    funny shit…funny shit
    luved the us captilism and independece by peter.

  64. Erin Says:

    LOL I loved the panda. :) Peter Nguyen is AWESOME! I <3 his essays!

  65. allen Says:

    peter was fukin funny

  66. Katrina Says:

    Peter Nguyen is probably the funniest person on the planet.
    Maybe I should become a teacher simply in hopes of getting kids like these.

    Oh, I haven’t laughed so hard in ages.

  67. JackMiaff Says:

    Peter Who (Huu) When (Nguyen),

    Please see me!

  68. Tibia Says:

    Nice…

    Thanks, I always love a good read. Dont stop posting!…

  69. Ali Says:

    WOW PETER HIARIOUS!
    Laughing my ass off!!!!

  70. dbend Says:

    im def searching up peter nguyon on facebook

  71. Olivia Says:

    Lol, Peter’s teacher was wrong. There’s a Harlem in Chicago, so there.

  72. alicen wonderland Says:

    peter nguyen…please add me on facebook! lmao!

  73. Saul L Says:

    Some of them are creative and funny, I enjoyed the laughing but other just show how fucked up the American school system is, and that that nothing can replace a good ass whooping from time to time for such spoiled brats get in line and learn to RESPECT, teachers and other people, because is just obvious that everythings is a fucking joke for them. And some of the teachers celebrating them instead of correcting them, I’m glad to see that some teachers deserve to be called that.

    And the Peter guy is a racist prick dumb ass IMO with the occasional good joke, the rest a lot of tosh.

  74. Jason Says:

    Haha best essays ever. Peter, we had some good times.

  75. calleigh Says:

    You, Mr. Peter Nguyen, are my hero.

    Wait- how did he get into honors english, let alone college?!

  76. vik Says:

    peter n all u guys add me on facebook boyatvikram@gmail.com

  77. vik Says:

    i fall like 10 times from my couch with my laptop. lucky me n ma lappy…

  78. LOL Says:

    peters were overall awesome but I LOVED THE CIVIL WAR ONE IT PROBABLY MADE MY YEAR and the one with dr dre’s picture was halarious

  79. Wesleyan U Says:

    Not sure if all of these are real but they are absolutely hysterical. I love how peter includes tupac so much. And of course, the elephant one is awesome.

  80. Raine Says:

    Peter, I love you

  81. Linz Says:

    I love Peter. Who is this guy? I seriously want to find him just to tip my hat to him for his comical genius mind! GOLD! that is right there. Pure gold, I think that boy can make a living doing that!

  82. Lisa Says:

    This was brilliant, I want more! There should be an academic database for this stuff. I’m sure teachers and lecturers would have plenty to put up. I know the essay I am currently writing that is due in tomorrow is gonna make my lecturer laugh cos its so bad :( Thanks for this it let me procrastinate for just a while longer! Lisa

  83. Lauren Says:

    so um i just laughed my face off……
    Im def. doing this for my term paper

    (and of course turn in my real term paper as extra lol)

  84. David M. Kasprzak Says:

    I want to know why the kid failed his analysis of 2 Girls, 1 cup. the subject matter is disgusting, but the analytics and criticism are brilliant.

  85. BLACKGUY74 Says:

    SCREW U U BUNCH OF JUNKIES. YOUR PROB OVA THERE SUCKIN EACHOTHA UP TLKIN BOUT NIGGAS STILLIN BIKES. wtf I STEAL SCOOTERS TOO SO FUCK OFF HICKS

  86. Anonymous Says:

    I would have given Peter A’s each time, because those were absolute genius!

  87. Maffearth Says:

    Dude…calm down. Nobody needs “a good ass whooping.”

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  89. Exam Quetions Says:

    Really cool. After reading topic “The art of padding” i am not stop my laughing. Really amazing thanks for sharing.

  90. Jhon Mizuki Malinao Says:

    Peter…You’r my IDol
    fuck yeah!!

  91. :) :P Says:

    LMAOO! hilarious!

  92. april thomas Says:

    peter your kick ass dude

  93. KittyKat Says:

    Peter….I love you…..soooo much right now.
    But how did he make it into honors english???

  94. Ratt Says:

    I wanna know where Peter Nguyen is now, cus he should have a book out by now!

  95. Dreamingspider Says:

    Oh Peter…. please friend me. 

  96. Johnbiddle Says:

    Midget Ninja is the funniest thing I have ever read!

  97. Mari Says:

    Peter Nguyen actually writes pretty well! Although the contents of his works are … less well.

  98. Elizabeth Says:

    FUNNY

  99. Elizabeth Says:

    haha yea

  100. Beach__ Says:

    And Cried 

  101. Hendiantochairy Says:

    Ahahaha,,,,,, ITs art….hahaha

  102. gallygirl Says:

    and ’til :)

  103. Chocoboknight Says:

    See…i have a few teachers.. where if i thought of something smart to write for an answer,. i would get away with it!!

  104. TrkyBaster Says:

    LOL

  105. Supergumboman Says:

    makes me want to go back to high school do it all over again

  106. Melissa C Ridgway Says:

    Man, Peter really has a talent for creative writing. And controversy…

  107. LyDiA Says:

    Peters my hero!

  108. Dinododgers Says:

    “Unlimited Essay Works”?
    Lol. I should start sneaking anime references into my school work as well.

  109. daburo penetrationuu Says:

    Is well a good word?

  110. OtakuCat Says:

    Cue Hilarity

  111. V123 Says:

    Peter is a moron. I love how one of the test questions is about my country(Bulgaria).

  112. Mortieg Says:

    Peter = legend. Some of the funniest stuff i have ever read. Cant wait for the movie.

  113. Awwwyeah23 Says:

    I like how people get offended by what these kids say. “Oh Im from that country, or oh Im Gay, or Oh my mom’s a whore with a wooden leg so that joke offends me”, go fuck yourselves 

  114. OtakuCat Says:

    Peter is a genius! When I destroy the world using Datura Stratonium, Japanese Fugu toxins, and cyanide I’m so gonna spare him!… uh, forget the part I said about Datura Stratonium, Japanese Fugu toxins, and cyanide….. I was just kidding, haha, see I’m laughing! heh. 

  115. Tory_bundy Says:

    OMG! LMFAO I love Peter!!!

    I laughed so hard I cried.

  116. Imariareizaga Says:

    ha ha ha peter is so funny!

  117. I Like Pie Says:

    Peter should write a book…I’ll totally read all of his books :D

  118. Paulette Evans Says:

    peter should write in the uncyclopedia

  119. Paulette Evans Says:

    kanzler?

  120. angelina Says:

    Um, these students totally fail… r u crazy?

  121. Anonymous Says:

    I went to junior high with Peter. Smart guy. So funny. Left me cracking up after reading this.

  122. Bruce Says:

    “Okay, I don’t really pay attention in your class and I’m really high right now.”

    I’ve had those days.

  123. Darth Says:

    Peter! I am your father…

  124. hi Says:

    Dude don’t swear

  125. xF3ARxx Says:

    OHH MY GOD. PETER IS A FRICKING GENIUS(:

  126. JOKER Says:

    Lol This boy is :ugly

  127. iizawas0me Says:

    google peter it turns out he became a comic artist… i guess its appropriate…ish

  128. hi Says:

    I liked the king of awesomely bad essays the second paragraph. that was funny

  129. hi Says:

    totally

  130. whatever Says:

    Peter you are fucking awesome

  131. Anna the Flutist Says:

    Hahahahahahahaha

  132. Hesham Says:

    Like if you actually read ALL of them

  133. dat dude Says:

    these kids are ingenius, i would have atleast gave them a c- for having balls

  134. Terio Says:

    Peter may be working on History Channel right now. His tales have more sense than those “historical aliens” shows have.

  135. 0paul0 Says:

    its spelled your, moran!

  136. Joe Says:

    I’m crying … too funny

  137. bluemax1966 Says:

    I’m in college now with a 3.50 GPA, but in High School, I was much like them, only not as creative as they were. I think I would’ve had more fun in High School if I were as creative as Peter (minus the anti-Semitic, and name calling)

  138. buttpirate Says:

    too bad it doesnt look like an actual teacher graded half of them

  139. Michael Vera Says:

    I love this

  140. Mr. X Says:

    And you know the font in which a teacher is supposed to write?

  141. Ryan Says:

    The person who did “The Future” is actually one of my best friends.

  142. MeDoneTalk Says:

    My favorite is the biography on Christopher Columbus.

  143. Maddie Says:

    Peter wrote that one to actually

  144. Heidi Ifft Says:

    Peter needs to work in Hollywood. Pure awesomeness.

  145. Paul You Says:

    This boy is ugly lol

  146. Skai Says:

    peter is a legendary history teacher lol

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